Around the World in 72 Days

September 11, 2007 by dunny.

The last yall heard things were moving along flawlessly and we were waiting on the sleeper bus from the border to Beijing. Let me tell you something folks. Although we had no major issues, the Chinese sleeper bus is legalized torture. They jam you in this half-reclined non-adjustable seat that was designed for a 4 foot tall person. There’s a compartment for your feet in the seat in front of you, but there’s no storage so that’s where our bags went instead. I was on the top bunk in the middle row so I couldn’t really roll to either side either. The other riders fart relentlessly without shame. The Mongol dude behind me snored so loud I could hear him even with my Ipod on full blast, and every 20 minutes or so he’d throw his legs over and kick me in the face.

Oh, and there was a 6-hour dead stop traffic jam on the highway that prompted the drivers to just lock the door and go to sleep. There’s no windows so that bus was basically a fart fermenter for the better part of the night until Wolfy and I woke them up to let us out and just laid down right there on the highway.

It was an awesome experience though. We got to stop at a little hut for food and mix with locals. We buddied up with other folks on the bus who were forced outside by the rising fart steam. Hell, I even made nice with the fella who kept smearing his feet on my forehead. In a way it was a microcosm of China…shameless people, crowded places, strict organization broken only by catastrophe…we loved it. Even the delay was a blessing in disguise b/c we rolled into Beijing around noon instead of 4am and got to go straight to our hostel and start the day.

We ended up in our hobo suits in Hu Hai (the party district). We took one step out of the cab and were grabbed by some chick who dragged us to a “good bar” that turned out to be a “lady bar” where women force you to buy them drinks and pay for their company, neither of which we did. The kung fu almost made an appearance. We made it to some nightclub with just enough time to tell a couple Russian girls that we were famous back home and wanted to interview them for MTV. Radge.

The next day was the bittersweet separation of the last two Ralliers, the wildest of the wild, the radgest of the coonts…Wolfgang Shultz and the newly donned Dirk Bifschtik. I hopped a sleeper train to Shanghai while Wolfgang stuck around in Beijing to wait on a Tokyo flight. I’ve been preaching all through this trip that Baku, Azerbaijan was the worst place on Earth, a land with no redeaming qualities…but as it turns out it may have been the best place because it’s where we met those rowdy Hobos, our kindred spirits and brothers in awesome. I’ll see you boys in a month…I already miss conversation that never manages to extend beyond food, alcohol, women, and bowel movements.

I managed to spend the early part of the day in central Shanghai, which is completely different from Beijing. Both are amazing cities, and like so many places we’ve been through, I’m dying to go back for a longer time. I made my way to the airport, threw on Pinky, pretended to be famous, and flirted my way into a first class seat. After travelling from London to Shanghai by way of bumpy jeep, dirty trains, and steamed up farty buses, I think I earned it.

That one took me to Chicago where I had a standby flight back to Texas, but it turned out I was #140 on the list so they sent me to Columbus first where I then waited all day for a Texas flight…but hey, would any other end really be fitting?

I’m here now, body and belongings intact, having circled the globe in 72 days. As much as possible was done on the ground. All in all I can say that the limits of my patience and resolve were recalibrated, my abilities to sleep anywhere and eat anything were refined, and my faith in humanity was completely restored.

I haven’t shaved since June or cut my hair since God knows when. I’ve been gawked at by more people in more places than I can remember. I’ve seen deserts and mountains and seas and steppes, sometimes all in the same day. I’ve smiled. I’ve screamed. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve bargained. I’ve bribed. I’ve fallen in love. I’ve lived. I’ve seen generosity and brotherhood to levels that made my chest and neck swell nearly to the point of exploding. I have goals and dreams for the direction of my life that were previously unimaginable.

It’s one lesson from all this that really matters though.

It doesn’t matter what you do in life. All that matters is how and why you do it. You can travel around the world or around your street. If you do it with the intention of fostering love and peace, and you stay calm, keep you wits about you, and take a genuine interest in the people you encounter, every day is a new adventure.

What if we all spend our days accomplishing things with our time rather than spending our days finding new ways to waste our time? What if we automatically assume the best in people, despite their appearance or background or beliefs? What if we offer our homes and ourselves to people in order to learn about each other rather than to make some extra cash? What if every moment of our lives was its own reality, independent from time and full of beauty and potential?

I’d say we’d all be pretty content with ourselves and each other…and dare I say, that’s when we’d start to learn and fully experience the brilliance of humanity.

Here’s to it, my friends.

Skip, out. (SkipLizard Homepage)

P.S. Keep checking in. We’ll be putting up a big recap and what pictures and videos we manage to dig up from other teams, and possibly even end up in the media. Hey, I have to atleast try to back up all my stories about being famous

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