Suffering = Joy VS. Suffering -> Joy

April 28, 2008 by dunny.

”The joy of suffering.” That phrase has passed through my ears countless times, never quite meaning the same thing twice…the Christian view on the constructive aspect of suffering for Christ…the Buddhist thought that to live means to suffer due to attachment to transient things (joy being the cessation of such suffering)…the capitalist way of deferred gratification…athletes’ motivation to punish their bodies in order to be the best…the emo notion that, wait there’s never joy in emo…

In any case, the idea that satisfaction and fulfillment can be found through suffering has its merits. The ability to conceive and quantify mental and emotional suffering is a unique ability of humans, or as the great Elbert Hubbard said, “If you suffer, thank God! — it is a sure sign that you are alive.” I’d like to offer a slightly different version, though, a more optimistic alternative if you will: “Joy due to suffering, among other things.”

Although one could interpret both phrases exactly the same, there is an element of should in the former. We as people feel pain, anger, frustration, disappointment, heartbreak, rage, sadness, and any other emotions in the spectrum of suffering. We all endure times of hardship. The key is not to rationalize these experiences through self-induced guilt. Too often we try to dissolve our suffering as quickly as possible, saying “It could be worse, I should just suck it up” or “I should just think about all the good things in my life instead” or “I should just get high.” Rather, the key is to accept and process these sufferings, experience them fully, and naturally come back to a state of calm and contentment, all the more appreciative of the present because suffering was overcome in a comprehensive, healthy manner.

Start with the emotions that rise and fall so quickly that one might not even remember them minutes later…frustration in traffic (honk honk!), anger over loss (cheaters!), resentment of strangers (douchebag!). It’s so easy to shrug them off that often times they become a natural part of our persona. Sit back and consider, though. Was it the traffic that actually caused that frustration to boil over, the loss that actually caused anger to take shape, the stranger doing something strange that actually caused judgment to materialize…or were they just triggers for something already there? Were these quick reactions to the unfamiliar simply the evidence of deeper issues that have been impatiently brushed aside?

Then what of the deeper issues, the negative energy accumulated through emotional and spiritual hardship? If hateful reactions to uncomfortable situations become the natural way of things, then suffering truly has taken hold of the life itself. The supposed “joy” is no more than the assumption that hardship is the only reality and always “could be worse,” the following rationalization that destructive thoughts are acceptable because they are in keeping with that reality, and finally a mindless walk through day after day of emotional turmoil and spiritual torment. Sure there will be fun times, but contentment will be rather short-lived.

The second phrase, on the other hand, implies that tragedies cannot be scaled against other tragedies. Rather than finding inherent joy in suffering or even the ability to perceive suffering, it finds joy in making suffering a completely subjective and independent experience, processing it as such, and overcoming to the extent that the mind is cleared of those distractions to the present. The “joy” is the pride and satisfaction that comes from overcoming such hardship, and the associated contentment that comes from creating a mind open enough to recognize the infinite beauty the world has to offer (thus the “among other things”).

Bottom line…we experience suffering on a daily basis on varying levels. If we can strive for “Joy due to suffering, among other things,” the process of accepting, processing, and healing that suffering can become a natural part of our lives. Ultimately, we will cease to call our suffering trivial or dwell on it unnecessarily, consciously or unconsciously, and reach levels of clarity in our minds and hearts we never thought imaginable…and dare I say, suffering will give way to contentment over and over in our lives as love and tolerance abound.

Here’s to it folks.

(I’m baaaaaaaaaaack!)

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